Episode 77

One day your children will leave—what will remain between you?

We spoke with Yuly Ferreira about how to maintain your connection as a couple over time.

Published by

21 de julio, 2026

Topics:

marriage

In this episode of Vivas y Plenas, Flor Elena Robledo talks with Yuly Ferreira about a real and necessary topic: romantic relationships. Between work, children, and the demands of daily life, many couples stop connecting emotionally without even realizing it. Not because of a major crisis, but because, little by little, silences, unaddressed conversations, and the habit of functioning together without taking the time to nurture the relationship begin to pile up.

Yuly Ferreira, with more than two decades of marriage and experience supporting families, shares how to protect the bond between partners over time, how to navigate the changes at each stage of life, and how to consciously choose each other again, day after day.

Love is a decision, not just a feelingYuly Ferreira

For Yuly, after 26 years with her husband (21 of them married), the key has been understanding that love doesn't depend on feeling "butterflies" all the time. "Love is a decision. Every day, I choose to love my husband and not lose that spark that brought us together so many years ago," she explained. That daily choice, according to Yuly, is what sustains the relationship through the different stages of marriage.

Why Routine Can Cool a Relationship

According to Yuly, when a couple doesn't intentionally nurture their bond, routine fills that space. The children grow up, get married, and there comes a time when the couple is left alone—and if they haven't worked on their relationship along the way, that stage can feel like meeting a stranger all over again. Working as a team, talking openly about how each person feels, and not assuming that the other already knows is, for her, the foundation for maintaining the connection.

The "Daily Temperature Check": Small Gestures That Sustain the Relationship

Yuly shared a tool used in marriage therapy, the "daily temperature check": small daily habits that keep the couple's connection alive.

• Expressing gratitude for the little things, even those that have become routine, such as your husband making coffee every morning.

• Share new details about your day-to-day lives, so you don't stop getting to know each other as time goes on.

• Make time for "getaways" or moments of intimacy and flirting, even if they're brief.

• Have a weekly date night, even if it's something simple.

When the children grow up and the couple is left with an "empty nest"

One of the most compelling points of the conversation was the warning about what happens when a couple fails to nurture their relationship while raising their children. Yuly shared the story of a married couple who, after years of devoting themselves entirely to their children, ended up separating as soon as the children became independent. "It's better to start working on this right now, because in the end, that's the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with," she explained.

The Red Flag Many Couples Ignore

For Yuly, not wanting to spend time with your partner—or making excuses to avoid it—isn't "normal": it's a warning sign that deserves attention. "It's a huge red flag that something isn't working 100%," she noted, urging people not to accept emotional distance as an inevitable part of a long-term relationship.

How to Argue Without Drifting Apart

When a conflict arises, Yuly recommends waiting for tempers to cool before talking. Finding the right time and place—without the children present—allows for a constructive conversation rather than a "hot-headed" argument. "You have to breathe, analyze, think it through, and ask for wisdom so you can talk," she explained.

Laughing Together Is Also Part of the Bond

Among the warmest pieces of advice from the conversation was the importance of shared humor: enjoying simple jokes, laughing at everyday things, and not taking everything too seriously. For Yuly, those moments of connection are just as important as deep conversations.

Growing Together as a Couple

Yuly wrapped up the conversation by encouraging couples to continue learning together: attend marriage workshops or seminars, read about the topic, and seek support when needed. "No one goes to college to study how to be a wife or husband; it's along the way that we learn," she reflected.