How to Be a Woman of Influence Without Seeking the Spotlight

In this episode of Vivas y Plenas, Flor Elena Robledo talks with Carolina Donis about a topic that touches every area of our lives: the power of influence. We often think that influence is reserved for leaders, celebrities, or people with large platforms, but the reality is that we all exert influence every day through our words, attitudes, and example.

For Carolina, understanding the true weight of that influence—and the responsibility it entails—is the first step toward living it in an authentic, positive, and transformative way.

We all have a degree of influence, whether we realize it or not

Carolina explains that many people—especially younger ones—say, "I don't want to be a leader," without realizing that they already are. If there are people who follow you because you set an example for those around you, you already have a degree of influence. The question, then, isn't whether you have influence, but what you're going to do with the influence you've been given—starting in your own home, where your children watch and learn from you every day.

Social Media Influencers vs. Real Influence

Carolina makes an important distinction: not everyone with followers on social media exerts real influence. There are those who buy followers or create a fantasy that many young people end up believing is real. True influence, she says, is exercised over those closest to us, in our day-to-day interactions, not through the number of followers.

"Sometimes people have more faith in ChatGPT or Copilot than in exercising real faith," Carolina noted, referring to how much content on social media lacks soul and genuine connection—something you can feel, even if it's hard to explain.

Influence Is Not Manipulation

For Carolina, influence is "the ability you have to impact another person's life," and it is completely different from manipulation, which seeks personal gain. Genuine influence is modeled by example: "How did I learn to be a leader? By watching," she explained, acknowledging that although she read books on leadership, she learned above all by observing others put it into practice first.

The Difference Between Influence and Position

One of the central points of the conversation was distinguishing influence from position. According to Carolina, the most basic level of leadership is when someone is given a title, but that doesn't automatically make them a leader. "Would those people follow you if you didn't have that title?" she asked, recalling a former boss of hers about whom she used to say, "Even if he didn't pay me, I'd follow him to the ends of the earth," because he was a man of integrity.

Carolina also shared the story of an employee who, upon receiving a promotion in the family business, wasn't prepared for that level of influence and ended up having other coworkers do her nails during work hours. "When you give a position to someone who isn't ready, their true character is revealed," she reflected.

The Ego Versus Identity

Carolina distinguishes between the ego ("the image I want people to believe I am") and true identity—what God created us to be. When a person acts from the ego, they seek power; when they act from their identity, they seek to serve. "A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't seeking that for the sake of power," she explained, noting that many bosses who do nothing but yell and demand silence from their teams are, in reality, acting out of deep insecurity.

"A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't doing so for the sake of power"Carolina Donis

Being Salt and Light: Salt Must Come Out of the Salt Shaker

One of Carolina's most powerful reflections was on what it truly means to be salt and light. "You're not salt inside the salt shaker," she said, referring to the tendency to stay only with those who think just like us, within our comfort zone. "For salt to have an effect, it has to come out of the salt shaker": if we stay inside, we're not helping anyone. Sometimes that outward influence is simply walking alongside someone, without needing to have all the answers.

Who is influencing you?

Carolina also invites us to reflect on who influences us. For her, the important thing is to surround ourselves with people of integrity, whose "yes is yes and whose no is no," who are consistent wherever they may be. She shared that one of the greatest influences in her life was her grandmother, who only completed sixth grade, but whose teachings still guide her decades later: true influence doesn't depend on titles or diplomas, but on the character that inspires genuine admiration in others.

Be a River, Not a Reservoir

Carolina recalled a pivotal moment in her own story: after her mother's death, her mentor called her and said that just as we will be held accountable for our financial resources, we will also be held accountable for what we did with the influence God gave us, because there are people who will listen only to us. That call moved her not to keep what she had learned to herself. "You don't have to be a pond where knowledge stays, but a river where it must flow," she explained. "By grace we have received, and by grace we give."

Insecure Leadership vs. Servant Leadership

Carolina was clear in pointing out that many leaders act out of fear that others will outshine them, driven by insecurity and a scarcity mindset. In contrast, healthy leadership nurtures others even if they end up surpassing the leader: "If they shine brighter than I do, you know what? That's great, because together our light shines brighter." She proudly noted that several organizations she founded continue to operate and grow without her, led by leaders she herself trained—proof that good leadership does not seek to make itself indispensable, but rather to develop more leaders.

Authenticity: The Foundation of All Real Influence

For Carolina, being consistent—ensuring that what we say matches what we do—is the starting point for exerting a positive influence. She shared the story of a university dean who realized he was very reliable at work but constantly let his own children down. The solution wasn't to promise more, but to be more selective about the commitments she could actually fulfill. "That awareness begins the moment I make a promise: being sure that I'm offering things I can truly deliver on," she explained.

That reputation for integrity, she noted, naturally opens doors, without the need to insist or chase after anyone to gain their trust.

Don't Confuse Your Gift with Who You Are

Carolina shared a lesson she learned from one of John Maxwell's mentors: don't confuse your gift (speaking, writing, communicating) with your own identity. A gift is something God gives us for others, not for ourselves. "We are the pipe through which the blessing flows," she explained, "and woe to the pipe if it thinks it is the water." That image, she said, helps her keep her feet on the ground.

The Best Legacy: To Inspire, Not to Impress

Toward the end of the conversation, Carolina reflected on the true meaning of inspiration: the word literally means "to breathe another's air." More than wealth or fame, what matters most to her is that God finds her inspiring others by her example, without seeking the spotlight.

"The day we're gone, someone will remember: 'Caro used to say this,' or 'I saw Caro do that,'" she shared. "That's the best legacy—not just for your children or grandchildren, but for the communities where we live, for the people we want to see become tomorrow's leaders." For Carolina, the principle is simple: "You multiply who you are," and that's why it's worth investing in your own development and giving your best—a little at a time, one person at a time.

Want to hear the full conversation?

Watch the full episode with Carolina Donis on our YouTube channel.

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