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"My penis exists in my head": pages from the diary of Audrey Hale, Covenant School shooter, revealed

'The Tennessee Star' made public some pages of the attacker's personal diary, which the Police refuse to disclose, claiming that there is an ongoing investigation.

Vídeo de Audrey Elizabeth Hale, de 28 años, llevando a cabo un tiroteo en la escuela Covenant de Nashville.

(Metro Nashville Police Department)

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"My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male," can be read in the diary of Audrey Hale (28 years old), who in March of last year killed six people, including three children, in the shooting in Covenant School Christian Primary School.

This week the local newspaper The Tennessee Star published several pages of writing from the shooter, a biological woman who identified as a man.

Hale wrote about her experience using the name Aiden, about the "torture" of being raised as a woman and about learning about transgenderism in her 20s: "I finally found the answer – that changing one’s gender is possible."

Her mother, she explained, opposed. "I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter – and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey," she said, adding that her mother would have grown up in a conservative environment, where being LGBT was a stigma.

Furthermore, she assured that she would "kill" to have had access to puberty blockers. But, she lamented, when they became available for use she was already in the sixth grade, "puberty already hit me."

In another entry, Hale says she wishes for her own death "cause of the pure hatred of my female gender."

Disputes over the 'manifesto'

The reveal comes amid legal battles for police to disclose materials found in Hale's car and home, including a so-called manifesto that would explain her motives.

The Metropolitan Nashville Police Department assured that it will not make the documents public until the investigation is concluded, according to statements to Fox 17.

The Middle Tennessee leak is not the first, at the end of last year podcaster Steven Crowder published photographs with phrases written by Hale.