How to Be a Woman of Influence Without Seeking the Spotlight

In this episode of Vivas y Plenas, Flor Elena Robledo talks with Carolina Donis about a topic that touches every area of our lives: the power of influence. We often think influence is reserved for leaders, celebrities, or people with large platforms, but the truth is we all influence others every day through our words, attitudes, and example.

For Carolina, understanding the true weight of that influence, and the responsibility that comes with it, is the first step toward living it out in an authentic, positive, and transformative way.

We All Have a Degree of Influence, Whether We Realize It or Not

Carolina explains that many people, especially younger ones, say "I don't want to be a leader," without realizing they already are one. If there are people who follow you because you're an example to those around you, you already carry a degree of influence. The question, then, isn't whether you influence others, but what you're going to do with the influence you've been given, starting at home, where our children are watching and learning from us every day.

Social Media Influencers vs. Real Influence

Carolina draws an important distinction: not everyone with social media followers exercises real influence. Some buy followers or build a fantasy that many young people end up believing is real. True influence, she says, is exercised with the people we're close to, in everyday proximity, not in a follower count.

"Sometimes people trust ChatGPT or Copilot more than they trust exercising real faith," Carolina noted, pointing to how much content on social media lacks soul and genuine connection, something you can feel even if it's hard to explain.

Influence Is Not Manipulation

For Carolina, influence is "the ability you have to impact another person's life," and it's entirely different from manipulation, which seeks personal gain. Genuine influence is modeled through example: "How did I learn to lead? By watching," she explained, acknowledging that although she read books on leadership, she learned mostly by observing others live it out first.

The Difference Between Influence and Position

One of the central points of the conversation was distinguishing influence from position. According to Carolina, the most basic level of leadership is simply being given a title, but that doesn't automatically make someone a leader. "Would those people still follow you if you didn't have that title?" she asked, recalling a former boss of hers she'd describe as someone she'd "follow to the ends of the earth" even without pay, because he was a man of integrity.

Carolina also shared the story of an employee who, after being promoted at the family business, wasn't ready for that kind of influence and ended up having her coworkers do her nails during work hours. "When you give someone a position they're not ready for, you find out who they really are," she reflected.

Ego vs. Identity

Carolina draws a distinction between ego ("the image I want people to believe I am") and true identity, who God actually made us to be. When someone acts from ego, they're seeking power; when they act from their identity, they're seeking to serve. "A leader who wants to use their influence to serve isn't chasing power," she explained, noting that many bosses who only shout and demand silence from their teams are actually acting out of deep insecurity.

Being Salt and Light: Salt Has to Leave the Shaker

One of Carolina's strongest reflections was about what it truly means to be salt and light. "You're not salt while you're still inside the shaker," she said, referring to our tendency to stay only with people who think like us, within our comfort zone. "Salt, to season, has to come out of the shaker": if we stay inside, we're not helping anyone. Sometimes that outward influence is simply keeping someone company, without needing to have all the answers.

Who Is Influencing You?

Carolina also invites us to reflect on who influences us. For her, what matters is surrounding yourself with people of integrity, whose "yes means yes and no means no," consistent wherever they're found. She shared that one of the greatest influences in her life was her grandmother, who only reached the sixth grade, but whose teachings still guide her decades later: true influence doesn't depend on titles or diplomas, but on the character that inspires genuine admiration in another person.

Be a River, Not a Reservoir

Carolina recalled a defining moment in her own story: after her mother's death, her mentor called her and told her that just as we'll give an account of our financial resources, we'll also give an account of what we did with the influence God gave us, because there are people who will only listen to us. That call moved her to stop keeping what she'd learned to herself. "You don't have to be the pond where knowledge just sits, you have to be a river where it flows," she explained. "We receive by grace, and by grace we give."

Insecure Leadership vs. Leadership That Serves

Carolina was clear that many leaders act out of fear that others might outshine them, driven by insecurity and a scarcity mindset. Healthy leadership, on the other hand, nurtures others even if they end up surpassing it: "If they shine brighter than me, you know what? Wonderful, because together the light shines even stronger." She proudly shared that several organizations she founded are still running and growing without her, led by people she trained herself, proof that good leadership isn't about making yourself indispensable, but about raising up more leaders.

Consistency: The Foundation of Real Influence

For Carolina, being consistent, making sure what we say matches what we do, is the starting point for exercising positive influence. She shared the story of a university dean who realized he was extremely reliable at work, but kept letting his own kids down. The fix wasn't to promise more, but to be more selective about the commitments he could actually keep. "That awareness starts the moment I make an offer: making sure I'm only offering things I can truly follow through on," she explained.

That reputation for integrity, she noted, ends up opening doors naturally, without needing to chase anyone down to earn their trust.

Don't Confuse the Gift with Who You Are

Carolina shared a lesson she learned from one of John Maxwell's mentors: don't confuse the gift (speaking, writing, communicating) with your own identity. The gift is something God gives us for others, not for ourselves. "We are the pipe the blessing flows through," she explained, "and woe to the pipe that thinks it's the water." That image, she said, helps keep her grounded.

The Best Legacy: To Inspire, Not to Impress

Toward the close of the conversation, Carolina reflected on the true meaning of the word inspire, which literally means "to breathe the same air as someone else." More than wealth or fame, what matters most to her is that God finds her inspiring others through her example, without seeking the spotlight.

"The day we're no longer here, someone will remember: 'that's what Caro used to say, that's what I saw Caro do,'" she shared. "That's the best legacy, not just for your children or grandchildren, but for the communities we live in, for the people we hope will be tomorrow's leaders." For Carolina, the principle is simple: "you multiply who you are," and that's why it's worth investing in growing and giving your best, one step, one person, at a time.

Want to hear the full conversation?

Watch the full episode with Carolina Donis on our YouTube channel.

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