The University of Colorado Boulder states that confusing a person's sex constitutes "an act of violence." The public university stated this in a guide published by its "Pride Office." The organization created "by students for students" advised students which pronouns they should use: "If someone tells you their pronouns, use those! If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, don’t assume gendered pronouns and use gender-neutral ones, like they or ze."
As the guide emphasizes, pronouns are relevant to a person because they are "ways we portray our identity." For that reason, it states that "When someone asks you to use their pronouns, they are asking for you to respect their identity." In fact, the public university claims that not respecting and even confusing a person's gender constitutes "an act of violence."
When someone refers to another person using the wrong pronouns, especially on purpose, that can lead to that person feeling disrespected and can lead to dysphoria, exclusion and alienation. It is never safe to assume someone’s gender and living a life where people will naturally assume the correct pronouns for you is a privilege that not everyone experiences. Choosing to ignore or disrespect someone’s pronouns is not only an act of oppression but can also be considered an act of violence.
The manual also recommends how to act in the case of confusing a person's gender and makes the following recommendations:
There are many terms that are offensive for people that identify as transgender or any other form of gender non-conforming. Some of these would be “it,” “he-she,” etc. Unless given explicit consent from everyone who will hear it, do not ever use any of these words when referring to anyone, as they are incredibly offensive.
