One Day the Kids Will Leave — What Will Be Left Between You?

In this episode of Vivas y Plenas, Flor Elena Robledo talks with Yuly Ferreira about a real and necessary topic: romantic relationships. Between work, kids, and the demands of daily life, many couples stop connecting emotionally without even realizing it. Not because of one big crisis, but because silence, unfinished conversations, and the habit of simply functioning together, without stopping to nurture the relationship, build up little by little.

Yuly Ferreira, with more than two decades of marriage and experience walking alongside families, shares how to protect your bond as a couple through the years, how to navigate the changes of each stage, and how to keep choosing each other, consciously, day after day.

Love Is a Decision, Not Just a Feeling

For Yuly, after 26 years with her husband (21 of them married), the key has been understanding that love doesn't depend on feeling "butterflies" all the time. "Love is a decision. I choose every day to love my husband, and not lose the spark that brought us together so many years ago," she explained. That daily choice, according to Yuly, is what sustains the relationship through every stage of marriage.

Why Routine Cools a Relationship

According to Yuly, when a couple doesn't intentionally nurture their bond, routine fills that space instead. The kids grow up, get married, and eventually the couple is left on their own, and if the relationship wasn't tended to along the way, that stage can feel like meeting a stranger all over again. Working as a team, speaking openly about how each person feels, and never assuming the other already knows is, for her, the foundation for sustaining that connection.

The “Daily Temperature Check”: Small Habits That Sustain a Relationship

Yuly shared a tool used in couples therapy, the “daily temperature check”: small daily habits that keep the connection alive.

• Give thanks for the little things, even the ones that have become routine, like your husband making coffee every morning.

• Share new details from your day, so you never stop getting to know each other over time.

• Make time for little “getaways” or moments of intimacy and flirtation, even brief ones.

• Keep a weekly date night, even if it's something simple.

When the Kids Grow Up and the Couple Is Left with an “Empty Nest”

One of the strongest points in the conversation was the warning about what happens when a couple doesn't nurture their relationship while raising their children. Yuly shared the story of a couple who, after years devoted entirely to their kids, ended up separating as soon as the children became independent. “It's better to start working on this now, because at the end of the day, that's the person you're going to spend the rest of your days with,” she explained.

The Red Flag Many Couples Ignore

For Yuly, not wanting to spend time with your partner, or looking for excuses to avoid it, isn't “normal”, it's a warning sign that deserves attention. “It's a huge red flag that something isn't working at 100%,” she noted, encouraging couples not to treat distance as an inevitable part of a long-term relationship.

How to Argue Without Growing Apart

When conflict comes up, Yuly recommends waiting until emotions settle before talking it through. Finding the right time and place, without the kids around, allows for a constructive conversation instead of an argument fueled by a “hot head.” “You have to breathe, think it over, and ask for wisdom before you speak,” she explained.

Laughing Together Is Part of the Bond Too

Among the warmest advice in the conversation was the importance of shared humor: enjoying simple jokes, laughing about everyday life, and not taking everything too seriously. For Yuly, those moments of playfulness matter just as much as deep conversations.

Keep Learning as a Couple, Too

Yuly closed the conversation by encouraging couples to keep growing together: attending marriage workshops or conferences, reading about the topic, and seeking guidance when needed. “No one goes to college to learn how to be a husband or wife, it's something we learn along the way,” she reflected.

Want to hear the full conversation?

Watch the full episode with Yuly Ferreira on our YouTube channel.

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