Fairy Cristina has a wet wand

Fairy Cristina is desperate. Her magic wand got wet and no longer works. During the term of her late husband, Néstor Kirchner (president from 2003 to 2007), and during her two terms as president (from 2007 to 2015), she was able to use it to cast wondrous spells in the Kingdom of Peronia. Thanks to the magic of politics, she managed to become a multimillionaire and make her entourage multimillionaires as well: from ministers, a minister's maid, her husband's chauffeur, the gardener of the powerful magicians and the list goes on and on.

One of the best spells was the one she cast with the help of Néstor's secretary, the late Daniel Muñoz, who invested almost $70 million in properties throughout the United States. Also, with a single flick of her wand and the right magic words, she was able to make almost $5 million appear in a safety deposit box her daughter had at a bank and 400 million pesos (of legitimate income) in her son's accounts. And all this is just a grain of sand in the desert; but please excuse me, I don't want to bore you. With part of all the money magically obtained, fairy Cristina was also able to acquire hotels and dozens of properties. You know, the national, popular and progressive magic.

Now, in this fairytale, dollars and properties magically appear to the villain, prosecutor Diego Luciani, who tries to punish the fairy Cristina for the spells that made all that money and properties appear. The evidence presented by the villain has existed for a long time and reveals that the Kirchner family with some magic passes turned a bank clerk named Lázaro Báez into a very successful businessman, who magically set up several companies, bought several properties and land equivalent to the size of 20 cities like Buenos Aires. Báez, who coincidentally, or magically, was in the construction business, was awarded the vast majority of public work. He received more money than was needed and, despite not finishing all the projects, continued to receive more and more work, after passing the wand, of course. Later, Baez, who loved the hotels of the fairy and her family, rented rooms in them for his workers to have their well deserved rest. However, his employees must have magically disappeared, as the hotels were usually empty. Villain Luciani affirms that in doing so, Báez returned the remaining money from the unfinished projects to the Kirchner magicians. However, the dizzying rise and fall of the Baez empire is impressive. All it took was a few flicks of the wand for his companies, especially Austral Construcciones, to be a resounding success in a very short period of time. In fact, Austral Construcciones magically appeared shortly before Néstor assumed his presidency of the Kingdom of Peronia in 2003 and magically fell into disgrace overnight in 2015, when the fairy's worst enemy, villain Mauricio Macri, took office.

Another important event happened in 2016 (Macri's government), when José López, Néstor's and then Cristina's secretary of Public Work, magically appeared at a convent with bags carrying 9 million dollars and an assault rifle. The nuns thought it was a miracle and helped him put the bags inside. However, it was not a miracle, but instead a wonderful spell. An image like that could not even be seen in a Harry Potter movie. Touché.

Now, the fairy did not only use her wand to make money and luxury properties appear, she also used it to remove uncomfortable judges and prosecutors who dared to doubt her. In fact, in one of the Justice wiretaps for another matter, fairy Cristina can be heard telling one of her closest friends, Oscar Parrilli: "We have to go out and squeeze judges.” That's fairy lingo for spellbinding judges, of course. In fact, there was a prosecutor named Alberto Nisman, who had investigated for several years the terrorist attack against the headquarters of the Asociación Mutual Israelita Argentina and had called out the fairy in a cover-up of the attack after she signed a pact with Iran to magically make the Iranians responsibility for the attack disappear. A day and a half before filing the complaint in Congress, Nisman was found dead with a bullet in his head in his apartment in Buenos Aires. Was it another spell?

Fairy Cristina is desperate. Her magic wand got wet and no longer works. During the term of her late husband, Néstor Kirchner, and during her two terms as president, she was able to use it to cast wondrous spells in the Kingdom of Peronia. Thanks to the magic of politics, she managed to become a multimillionaire and make her entourage multimillionaires as well: from ministers, a minister's maid, her husband's chauffeur, the gardener of the powerful magicians and the list goes on and on.

It is estimated that fairy Cristina’s wand made almost a billion dollars appear in its coffers; or at least that is what is known, of course. The wonders of magic.

However, the fairy and her family could not do all this alone. For that reason, she needed to cast spells on journalists and media entrepreneurs to defend her from the villains and other powerful people such as President Alberto Fernandez and the brand new Minister of Economy, Sergio Massa, who used to be strong critics of the fairy and her spells. Magically, nowadays both are playing on the same political court and defend her from the villains.

However, now the wand is wet. Its magic was lost. All is sadness in the Kingdom of Peronia, which is already suffering too much: there are more and more poor people, a likely three-digit annual inflation, increasingly violent insecurity and so on. But now the sadness is even greater, because the spells no longer working on the villainous judges and prosecutors. In fact, prosecutor Luciani asked for a sentence of 12 years of imprisonment and disqualification to hold public office, ergo to forbid her to continue casting spells. Can you imagine the poor fairy under house arrest? The fairy who is accustomed to the great luxuries that magic provides could not stand it. For this reason, she needed her wand to work well, but seeing how she defends herself and how those who are still bewitched defend her is really disappointing. The bewitched ones threaten to "take to the streets,” with "puebladas,” with "putting fear into the judges,” or talk about suicides in clear reference to Nisman, the prosecutor who magically appeared dead and the villains say he was killed.

What about her? Apparently, with a wet wand it depends on their arguments, but the truth is that they leave much to be desired: the prosecutor played soccer in Macri's country house, Macri spied, Macri went into debt, Macri's businessmen friends, the "lawfare,” the "Judicial Party,” she knew nothing about the spells of José López (the one with the bags and the rifle in the convent), the media, that abracadabra. She even acknowledged that Héctor Magnetto, CEO of Grupo Clarín - the most important media group in the country, which since 2008 has become a critic of Kirchnerism-, used to meet with her husband when he was president and that it was Néstor himself who allowed the businessman to merge a cable TV company with an Internet services company. Is she so desperate that she is even willing to use a Ouija board to have her late husband investigated? In any case, the worst part of it all was that he did not take care to deny any of the accusations against him. That did not happen with the dry wand.

Fairy Cristina’s wand is wet and the Kirchner magic make be over forever in the Kingdom of Peronia.